Is your relationship diminishing your self-worth?

Follow this path to step out of emotional abuse

Whenever unhealthy relationships are talked of, physical abuse comes to mind first, leaving behind the wagon of emotional abuse. Even if a relationship never gets physically abusive, emotional abuse can escalate over time with devastating consequences; and while emotional abuse does not always lead to physical abuse, physical abuse in relationships is nearly always preceded and accompanied by emotional abuse. Statistics suggest that 90% of women are abused at some point in their lives and 70% of them prefer not to raise a voice against it.

Why don’t we hear more about emotional harassment? In addition to the common misconception that it’s just not that serious, many people simply aren’t sure what emotional abuse actually entails.

Emotional abuse is any disparaging behaviour that isn’t physical but includes manipulation, verbal aggression, intimidation, and humiliation that unfolds over a period of time and diminishes the recipient’s sense of self-worth. Basically, any repeated behaviour which hurts you falls into this category. It can result in anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and even death.

Recognising this type of a problem is the first step in solving it. Post identification, here is what can be done to step out of it unscathed.

• Understand the situation which led to the other person behaving in this manner. Is there any change on your part which could prevent such behaviour or language going forward?
• Voice your displeasure and explain to others why this behaviour is not acceptable and that it is hurting you.
• Do not tag yourself as ‘depressed’ and under no circumstances accept this behaviour. It is catastrophic for your mental health and needs to be addressed.
• Don’t think that nothing is going to change, sometimes the abuser doesn’t realise that it is hurting so have a dialogue, sit and talk assertively that certain words, behaviours or actions are not allowable.
• Strengthen your support network consisting of trustworthy people where you can express yourself and ease out.
• Take care of your mental health, do what keeps you anchored in a positive attitude.
• Join meditation or yoga to calm your mind.
• Do not justify when they pass comments or demean you, rather walk out of the conversation.
• Distance yourself from triggers.
• Do not avoid your inner voice, give a listening ear to it. Jot down, paint, or just scribble your thoughts in a diary else you are preparing for the volcano to burst.
• If the harassment continues, seek counselling or reach out to the help lines. In case it gets to a stage where it is unbearable, seek legal opinion.

Remember, as a victim who silently accepts such behaviour, you are playing an equal role in the crime.